Have you tried this?

Happy New Year dear readers.  I hope everyone had a safe and joyous holiday season.

My new year has already started off a bit rocky, and I’m quite panicky, tired, and very sore.  I’ve been working overtime, trying to suppress my tics, which is probably the worst thing I can do for myself, as they have to come out at some point, and my body ends up exploding in a giant cacophony of flailing limbs.

I’ve been putting off writing because I’ve been feeling so shitty, and know I have been burdening people, which I do not like.  I find it extremely hard finding a balance between venting, and whining to everybody, which is one of the reasons I blog.  While I am writing to an audience, it is not to anybody super specific, and so I do not feel so bad letting loose with some emotional vomit.

My job hunt is not going well.  In fact, it is largely stagnant and stale.  In the last (almost) 2 years, I have had a total of 4 job interviews.  I have not landed a single job with any of the places I managed to get an interview.  I am discouraged, downtrodden, and disheartened.

My friends have offered me various suggestions on jobs to try, and I appreciate every single one of them, but I have grown frustrated trying to explain to people why “x” will not/has not worked, and it is not a matter of trying harder, or even smarter.

I am at a marked disadvantage in the job market, not only because I do not have college credentials (not that they seem to mean very much anymore), but because I am visibly disabled.  I am a liability.  The cold hard truth is that most companies do not want me.

Our economy is in the shitter.  It is not recovering.  I doubt it will recover to be what it once was.  There is no REAL reason for a company to hire me when it has plenty of desperate applicants that do not need schedule and work accommodations.  And I cannot prove that it is because of my Tourette’s that they did not hire me.

The first question people generally ask me when they discover I have Tourette’s, is whether or not I curse.  No, I generally do not curse because of my TS.

Doesn’t seem they ever believe me.

There is already a preconceived notion in their heads that I will answer the phone at their place of business, and immediately curse out the person on the other end of the line.  Forget that TS doesn’t really work like that (at least not in my case), that is what they have already (likely subconsciously) decided that I am going to do.

I am no longer a candidate for their work force.

When I try to explain that I need one small, simple accommodation (that I’d even be willing to provide on my own), I am immediately dismissed from consideration.  It is not hard to allow me to sit on a stool when I need to sit.  I will not sit for my entire shift (in fact, I stand for as long as possible).  But it has already been decided that I may take advantage of my accommodation, and will be a lazy worker.

I am no longer a candidate for their work force.

I am an abled disabled person, like many other people, but my options become more and more limited as time goes on.  I cannot hide my tics.  I can suppress them if I’m not terribly stressed, but interviews are highly stressful for me, and I can’t keep them in.  I can slow them, to a degree, but not hide them all together,

My service dog is always with me, but if I can leave him in the car, I do.  I try various methods of disclosing my disability, because I cannot hide it.

I have no job.

Have I considered and tried to apply to food service positions?  Yes.  But they don’t want the liability of me throwing a hot drink on somebody, or stabbing others (or myself) with a knife.

Have I tried data entry/secretarial positions?  Yes.  But they are uncomfortable with me answering the phones.

Have I tried retail positions?  Of course.  But they don’t want me sitting down at the cash register.  It’s “unprofessional”.  And since I don’t have a wheelchair, there’s “no reason” for me not to stand.

Have I tried warehouse positions?  You bet.  I like jobs where I do the same thing every day.  Hard for me to be wrong if the routine never changes.  But  I cannot consistently lift 50 lbs safely (due to my legs, not my arms).

This is not a matter of “do not want job”.  This is a matter of “cannot get job”.  I am not competitive with the rest of the work force.  I am considered a hindrance, whether companies will admit it to me or not.

I had a job interview last week, and was told I would be called on Tuesday.  There was no call.  Nor was I called Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday, at which point I called them, and left a message, since my interviewer was not in.  I’ve called twice more since then, and have received no response.

I’m pretty sure that I am no longer a candidate in consideration for a position.

So yes, I have tried, and will continue to try, and appreciate suggestions given to me.  But people need to learn to differentiate between “making excuses”, and the reality of the situation.  They are not the same.

Flail on,
– Classical Spazz





~ by ClassicalSpazz on January 3, 2012.

2 Responses to “Have you tried this?”

  1. I just gotta say, that in my experience potential employers very rarely bother to contact me again and tell me I got rejected. (It was also a full 3 weeks before my current employer called back and offered me a job.) I try not to even expect to get a call back anymore. (Though I know some people who say they always get rejection notices – maybe its the industry.)

    • If they’re not going to call, then they shouldn’t say they’re going to. It’s that simple. It leaves me holding out hope that I may FINALLY have an understanding employer.

      Instead, I’ve been yanked around yet again, and I’m not ok with that. It’s unprofessional.

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