Crabby Spazz

I have a whole bunch of stuff going on right now and I’m super stressed and need to vent. This Friday, the 22nd, will be the first anniversary of the death of one of my younger brothers. His 25th birthday was March 29th of this year.

My husband is leaving for North Carolina on Monday, and I won’t see him again until June.

There are a few tiny hiccups with the house that should be taken care of before J leaves, but it is all stressing me out, and once J leaves, EVERYTHING that is done with the house must be done by me alone, through power of attorney.

I’m really, really struggling with my weight, and cannot get back on track. My issue is not exercise…my issue is food.  I’m eating extra poorly with all the stress, when I bother to eat at all. A couple years ago I lost about 40 pounds through lots of hard work, and once I lost that weight, I actually became afraid of food, and hated eating. It has been a struggle since then, and when I moved to VA, I gained all the weight back.

My self image has always been terrible, but it’s even worse now (and I didn’t think that was possible). I have acquired a new tic, possibly due to all the stress (a hard blink nose wrinkle paired with an inhale/exhale).  It is causing me MAJOR headaches and it’s driving me to use Tylenol/Advil (I work very hard NOT to use those).

I haven’t slept properly since late February. I’m crabby, tired, and completely overwhelmed.

I am flailing quite frequently, so Flail on, because I certainly can’t help myself.
– Classical Spazz

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~ by ClassicalSpazz on April 21, 2011.

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