Meeting new people

Something I really hate to do, no matter what the context, is meet new people.  Aside from the TS, I am socially awkward and uncomfortable with new people.  It causes a great deal of anxiety.

One of the things that makes me so anxious is meeting people who know I have Tourette’s.  It’s generally concerning for me because they’ve heard about my bad days, and thus they seem to arrive at the meeting prepared for one of those bad days.  I actually feel pressured (in an odd sort of way) to have a bad day so I can avoid that look of  “What the hell!?  You don’t REALLY have Tourette’s!”

It’s like some strange feeling of “failure to perform”.  Like I’m a dude that couldn’t get it up.  How I could feel inadequate because I didn’t bust an unintentional move in the presence of a new acquaintance doesn’t make sense to me, but it is often how I feel.

While I do not define myself by my Tourette’s, and I am not hyperaware of it in every day life, I do become notably self aware when it comes to introducing myself into a new circle of potential friends.  It’s an interesting observation to make about myself.

I am hoping that when I meet some people that have “known” me for years through internet forums, that they will not judge me too harshly, whether I am having a bad day with my tics, or an exceptionally good day where I can be perceived as normal.

I wonder if any other people with TS feel that way?

Guess I’ll have to flail on until I find out,
– Classical Spazz

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~ by ClassicalSpazz on February 13, 2011.

One Response to “Meeting new people”

  1. Well, since I met you in a muddy field full of sheep, and I know you’re crazy enough to be there on purpose with your dog, I think it’s all good. 😉

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