How can you not know?!

This is a question I get a lot.  How I know so little about my own disorder.  Well, in order for you to understand why I don’t know more about Tourette’s, I’m going to pose these simple questions for you.

Why do you breathe?
Why is the sky blue?
Why do you believe what you believe?
Why do you love your family members?
Why do you eat?
Why do you have a favorite color?

There are deeper answers to each of these questions, but unless somebody actually prompts you to discuss them in great detail, the simple answer is “Because I do, because it is, because I like to.”  You don’t think about breathing, you just do it.  You don’t question why the sky is blue, because it always has been.  You believe what you believe because it’s what you’ve been taught, or what your own experiences have led you to believe.  Loving your family is normal, you eat because that’s what normal people do, you have a favorite color just because it appeals to you.

I have had tics for as long as I can remember.  I do not recall ever asking about why I did it (though perhaps I did).  I have grown up swinging my head around, and wrinkling my nose, and blinking more than other children.  I am used to swinging my arms for no particular reason, and “double inhaling” because I felt I wasn’t getting enough air.

You just do not think about these things when they are normal parts of your life.

I do recall wondering WHAT I had, if anything, but I never wondered why, never felt the reason to explore it more, or my “options” of treatment.  I just lived with it and decided it was normal for me.  I never would have known that I “wasn’t normal” if people hadn’t looked at me funny or asked what I was doing when I would randomly hit an object with my knuckles.

This blog isn’t just about you readers learning about Tourette’s.  It’s about ME learning more about it too.  I was never so inclined to before, and I’m not really sure why I am now.  Perhaps it’s because it is good for all of us to learn new things everyday, yes?

I’m making a commitment to learn with you.

We can spazz out together, even though many of you don’t have Tourette’s yourself.

Flail on my loyal readers,
– Classical Spazz

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~ by ClassicalSpazz on January 21, 2011.

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