Excuse me, miss? I broke another one…

So after a long weekend of exhibiting dogs, and my husband’s birthday upon us, he and I decided we would go to Red Robin (Yum!) for dinner.  While we were dining I told him I wasn’t sure what to write about today, and he suggested writing about eating out at restaurants.  I thought that was a fabulous idea!

I love going to restaurants if for no other reason than to have a break from cooking for awhile, and it’s nice to spend time with the hubby.  However, if the establishment we’re dining in is too cold…I have issues.  Issues like, oh, knocking my drink to the floor, causing the glass to shatter in great explosive shards.  Another crowd pleaser is to twitch, smack the bottom of the table (at which point I let fly an expletive because it HURT rather than my brain just acting stupid), and send everybody’s drinks careening about until they fall over like liquid dominoes.  And of course, we can’t forget having fork in hand, preparing to enjoy whatever bit of succulence I have speared, only to have my body spasm and send the grand morsel of deliciousness flying into the wig of some debutant sitting across the way.

For all of those embarrassments, that is not the thing that bothers me most about trying to dine out.  It’s when I get to the point where I don’t even TRY to eat anymore, because I actually know it’s a futile endeavor.  It’s really disheartening to actually have to give up on a meal because you don’t know if you’re going to inadvertently cause a food fight in the Olive Garden.

To the wait staff of the world, while I cannot speak for everybody, I am a particularly generous tipper due to my disability.  If you provide me with good service, don’t get terribly upset when I fling my drink upon the floor, and are overall gracious, I tend to tip around 18%.  You honestly don’t have to do anything more than your usual good job.  I just tip more because I feel you may end up having to work harder.

If you treat me as crap and like I’m a huge nuisance, I will tip you at the bottom of the barrel.  The only thing that prevents me from not tipping at all is the fact that being in customer service (particularly food where people are not opposed to throwing things on you) is a shitty SHITTY job, and I, too, have worked in such awful positions.  I’d have no qualms about tipping you 3% or less though :p

Hmm…maybe I should just eat in Greek restaurants from now on.  That way, every time I break a dish, I can just yell “Opa!” and when people ask what the hell is wrong with me, I’ll just tell them “I’m celebrating the fact that I have Tourette’s Syndrome!”

I think that’s a good plan!

Flail on,
– Classical Spazz

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~ by ClassicalSpazz on January 17, 2011.

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